Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize
