He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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