with your own penis?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
