Whod you bang
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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