In the future we'll all be gay
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
