I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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