Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
