Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
