he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
