We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
