I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
