Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
