11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
