The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
The beer is more important than you right now.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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