I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
