I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Damn victory sex feels great
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
