Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
