No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
