He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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