Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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