just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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