u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
