Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
