One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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