so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Randomize
