There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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