I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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