omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
organizing the empties. That sober.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
