Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
