His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
