Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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