He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
