somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
