i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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