Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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