omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
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