I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
