dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
