Just fell off a train. Bad.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
