well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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