honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
then he tried to convert me to islam
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Randomize