She's JV to your varsity
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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