And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Randomize
