I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
