Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
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