i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
