well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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