I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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