at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
