You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
