pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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