I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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