im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
how drunk are you?
Several
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
