She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
