We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
