it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She bit a glass in half.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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