Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
