I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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