Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
