I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
