I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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