everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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