I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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