He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
