the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Randomize
