I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
